Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Ryder,
Happy birthday to you!
Holy cow! Where have the last four years gone! Today is Ryder's fourth birthday. We have celebrated all weekend leading up to the actual day. In our house, birthdays are important, celebrated, fun!
Some years back my family began a tradition that we refer to as "The Fifteen Minute Birthday Party." When someone in our family has a birthday, we always try to get everyone together (in the immediate family) and throw a quick birthday "party." Even if we only have 15-30 minutes to spare, we make it a point to throw some party plates, hats and a cake on the table, and celebrate as a unit. Typically these get togethers last longer than 15 minutes, but some have been brief--just long enough to sing, eat cake and run. They are fun though, and we enjoy spending our time with each other, even if it is just for a half hour.
In kid world, however, a birthday should last longer than 15 minutes. It is, after all, the second biggest day of the year behind Christmas. So, we have been celebrating in full force since Friday morning, our Opening Games, if you will. Brad and Allison came from Dothan and as soon as they arrived, the atmosphere surrounding Ryder was heavy with birthday anticipation. Ryder proclaimed all day that it was his birthday, and he wanted to know when he was opening presents and when exactly he would be four. Then Chris, Nikki, Anna and Jake came over, along with mom and dad, and from that point on, the action was high. We went to eat at the new pizzeria in Southside, and I am fairly sure the restaurant broke out into cheers when we left. The boys came home and ripped and roared (literally--Woody was decapitated, Ryder's bed was stripped of bedding, the lamp had to be removed, a bow and suction-cup arrow set and a bowl were both broken--all of which the boys blamed on eachother or Sawyer) through my house until they were almost past the point of go.
Saturday, after spending the afternoon at the playplace at McDonald's with his cousins, Jake and Greyson, Ryder celebrated with friends and family at his Spiderman birthday party. Ryder had a blast. He tore through presents at a superhero speed. It was a perfect day. He came home to assess the loot and to start playing with the goods. Because his party was before his actual birthday, he was still on the birthday high the next day. Sunday, after a lazy day of play, we treated him to Red Lobster, (mostly because I had a kids eat free coupon, and it was shrimp fest, but whatever), and he was delighted when the waiters sang to him and brought him ice cream, and we were all shocked when the stranger next to us gave him ten dollars. Other than a 10pm trip to Winn Dixie to retrieve a lost Spiderman Potato Head, the day was glitch free. On Monday, his actual birthday, he woke up and before we even left for school, I sang to him and let him blow out his birthday candles on his cake that we purchased for him to take to ECA. After school, we went to "Chic Bo La," as he calls it, and we allowed him to run free in the play area while we ate. We followed the trip up with a stop by TJ Maxx for a birthday toy (small though) and finally, we ended the 3 day celebration by singing him one last round of
Happy Birthday and by giving him one more small present. All in all, it was about as fabulous of a birthday as any kid could ask for, and far from a fifteen minute party!
When I went to bed on the night of his actual birthday, I thought about the past four years. How excited I was when I found out that I was pregnant with him. How much I enjoyed pregnancy and planning for his arrival. How poorly I handled the pressures of a newborn baby. I experienced postpartum after Ryder was born and was stunned at how hard and stressing it was to be a new mother. I will never forget the panic that washed over me as the nurse wheeled my 6 lb, golden-haired baby boy into my overly crowded room just an hour after giving birth and told me that he was mine! She showed me his diapers, and I freaked. (I can still hear my aunt Scarlett laughing at my reaction in the background. Or is that one of those false memories that develops after a life altering event?) For some reason, I even asked if the nurses would be coming in to change his diaper and wanted to cry when they said no! (For the love, I can't believe I said that.) The car ride home from the hospital felt like hours instead of minutes. I was sure he was probably suffocating in his carseat. I hobbled around feeling like I had been hit by a bus and feeling overwhelmed at the constant nursing and all night screaming (Have you ever seen the Suave commercial where the beautiful woman morphs into a bedraggled mom in a matter of minutes? That is exactly how I felt.) I cried when I discovered my mother-in-law changed my sheets while I was in the hospital and did not replace them with the ones I had designated to go on my bed after the baby was born (that is nutty). I obsessed over keeping him looking like a baby doll with no spit up stains on his perfect clothes. I wore glasses to sleep, if you could even call it sleep. I would hang my head over the edge of the bed, with glasses uncomfortably crooked on my face, and try to keep myself awake to make sure he didn't die in the middle of the night from choking on spitup, which I was sure was going to happen. I am surprised I didn't smother him. One time I jolted awake to find my hand spread out on his face. I had placed it on his belly so I could make sure he was breathing, but in my exhaustion had drifted off and my hand had moved. In short, I was nuts. Now, I get a good chuckle out of how bananas motherhood made me. At the time, it was serious.
Soon though, my fears melted away, he began sleeping, and I became confident in my mothering abilities. The years following have been amazing (not going to lie, tiring too). He has always been a funny, loud, sweet and doggedly determined person. I have enjoyed watching him learn, dress up, give love, be independent and make my life better. I have struggled with watching him have multiple ear infections and colds and having to take him routinely to Birmingham for his immune issues. I have watched him make friends at school and laugh with other kids, as well as worried over the possible heartaches he may face in life. My heart sang when I saw how he immediately fell in love with his baby brother and how he never, not even one time, acted jealous or ugly towards Sawyer. I have kissed boo boos, wiped tears, sang songs, read books, painted pictures, created messes, cleaned up messes, felt stressed, felt overjoyed, bought surprises, planned play days, doled out punishments, bestowed earned rewards and tried to give him a happy, happy home. All in all, I cannot imagine life without my firstborn, blonde headed, Dennis the Menace, superhero son, Ryder Hudson Mecham. I t would be dull and completely uneventful. I never know what he is going to say or do. Sometimes I laugh just looking at him. He is the apple of my eye. Sometimes I write about all of the irksome stuff he does, but the truth is, I love the irksome stuff. He is who he is and that is exactly why I love him so much.
To my beautiful, smart, independent and amazing son, Happy, Happy 4th Birthday. I am so proud to call you mine.
(And let it be known that I cannot do it alone. Shaun is an amazing dad to my boys, and I am proud to call myself my husband's girlfriend.)
