Working Moms...

As I was driving the boys to daycare this morning, Ryder saw a dog on the side of the road. This must have sparked some sort of thought process that, to adults does not necessarily make any real sense, but to an almost four year old is perfectly logical; thus ensued the following conversation:

Ryder: Mom, see that white doggy?

Me: Yes.

Ryder: The Bible says we want a white dog.

Me: Really? You mean to have as a pet?

Ryder: Yeah, the Bible wants us to have a white doggy.

Me: Oh, okay. Who else is in the Bible?

Ryder: Jesus (in his Ryder –gruff-lisp-type of voice; actually it was more of Thesus). And hers a baby.

Me: You mean He; Jesus is a boy, like you and Sawyer. What do we know about Jesus?

Ryder: That he died and grows big and long (Don’t worry; I am not sure what this means either!).

Me: Okay. Jesus was big and strong too. And He died for you. Did you know that?

Ryder: Yeah. And we don’t eat Jesus (Thesus) either. That would be yucky…

Me: No, we don’t eat Jesus---!?!

This little 3 minute conversation made me laugh, as Ryder usually does. I really thought about it and decided I needed to be writing down all of Ryder’s antics (if you know him or our stories, you may know how much he really can get into!) So I decided I would start a blog about our family, mostly as a way to record our funny moments for the future, but it may also serve as entertainment as well.

I then dropped Ryder off at daycare (Sawyer too but he is much more low key, that one), and because Sawyer is YET AGAIN all stuffed up, I felt bad about having to leave him, even though I do love my daycare (ECA in the Bluff—shout out!). It then made me think of a segment on Dr. Laura’s radio show (yes, I listen to her on my way home from work. I admit it). Dr. Laura is quite the personality. Some of her views I agree with, though her snarky way of talking to listeners sometimes detracts from her good guidance, but she has other tidbits of advice (or orders) that she gives listeners that makes me seriously wonder how the listeners don’t call her an expletive and hang up on her!

Anyway, so the other day, she read this article about the world’s oldest physician (Dr. Leila Denmark) who died at the age of 114. She was a pediatrician and did not stop practicing until she was 103 (WHAT?!). Apparently, Dr. Denmark was a firm believer that children today were (are) much sicker than when she began practicing in 1928. She strongly argued (Denmark, not Dr. Laura, but hold on, I am making the con nection) that it was mainly due to mothers being basically brainwashed into thinking they needed to get jobs instead of staying home and raising a family, which in turn resulted in the need for daycare, the cesspool that spawns childhood illnesses for so many kids. This excerpt, from The Telegraph, is what Dr. Laura read:

Her no-nonsense approach to child-rearing gained a wider audience through her 1971 book Every Child Should Have a Chance, and through Dr Denmark Said It, a compilation of her pearls of wisdom by Madia Bowman. Some of her advice was controversial. While she believed women should have the same opportunities as men in the workplace, she argued that they should not contract out child care to others. “Women have been brainwashed into believing don’t mess around with a child, let someone else do it and go out and be lawyers, teachers, preachers, anything,” she said. “And we’ve never had more sick children than we have today.”

Staying at home and rearing children she regarded as “the most important work on Earth”. Meanwhile, babies should be put on a consistent schedule of feeding and sleeping; and after they are weaned, they should not be given anything to drink but water — no milk, no fruit juice. Dummies, she said, were “dirty things” — “a mother who gives one to a child isn’t caring for that child, she just wants to shut him up”. (The Telegraph).

This is why Dr. Laura included this: because she herself is a HUGE supporter of moms staying home to raise babies instead of working, which is a fabulous thing, I agree; however, we cannot all stay home. (BTW, have you been to the grocery store lately?! Ridiculous. We need money to eat.) Dr. Laura used this information as further proof that moms should, if at all possible, stay home to raise the family. I have heard her many times tell callers, specifically women who are seeking advice about what to do about being tired after coming home from work and having to deal with children, possibly also dealing with a husband who wants “me time,” to stop working. When the female caller protests, Dr. Laura basically berates her for not being willing to “sacrifice” for her family (meaning giving up material things and her job to be able to raise said child instead of “have someone else raise the baby” as Dr. Laura would put it). Dr. Laura is unforgiving in her views and will tell callers (I actually heard her say this yesterday) “cut from somewhere so you can be a SAHM.” When the caller says she can’t cut anywhere else, Dr. Laura basically tells her to try harder and sacrifice. To me, this implies then that I, a working mom, am not willing to sacrifice for my kids because I am not willing to stop working to stay home. In a sense, she is right. I am not willing to sacrifice, but geez, she makes it sound like mothers who work when they could possibly make it on just the husband’s salary, though meager as it may be, are selfish and have no right to complain about being tired or stressed because it is their own fault.

She also thinks daycare equals a mom not raising her own child. Now, I have a HUGE problem with this. My kids are in daycare, as are many other kids, and I find it offensive to think I am not raising my own kids. I actually, however, am not trying to argue the validity of her point. I just find it crazy that somehow, these working moms always end up agreeing with Dr. Laura, saying “wow. Yep. You are right.” WTH? Are you kidding? It is the callers’ responses that boggle my mind. (And does anyone else think it is ironic that this information is coming from two CAREER WOMEN?) Maybe I am selfish because I cannot, rather do not, want to give up my job. I love our house and the wonderful things (cliché, but this word encompasses all—toys, gifts, food, toiletries, clothes, diapers, etc) my paycheck gives to my family when added to Shaun’s.

Well, maybe this blog entry ended up being a bit more loaded than I meant for it to be—sorry. I guess I will not be calling Dr. Laura anytime soon for advice either (though I will probably still listen). She would surely make me want to punch somebody in the face! But if you haven’t ever listened to her (Sirius Stars 107) then give her a try. See how she makes you feel and let me know! If nothing else, it may be good fodder for a future blog entry.

"Dr. Leila Denmark." The Telegraph. 6 Apr. 2012. Web. 19 Apr. 2012